How to fall out of love

There is a saying ‘it is easy to begin a relationship, but it is hard to put it into an end.’ Most of the time falling out of love is a painful and confusing process filled with doubt and guilt. Since ‘fall out of love’ does not simply mean that to break up with someone by making yourself disgusting, by scolding at partner without any reason or by saying bad mouth of your partner, that is why it requires more skills in how to ‘fall out of love’ than ‘fall in love’, In fact falling out of love can be a more emotional process than falling in love. The best outcome of fall out of love should be knowing more about each other, supporting and forgiving the reasons why it is impossible to stay with, at least for some time. Hence fall out of love skillfully can turn lovers back to friends. This can be done by listing out the things falls apart, altering your viewpoint, distancing yourself, and finally informing them.

First of all, don't tell the person or anyone close to them what you are doing, as they might try to convince you otherwise. Keep it as if it is a secret.

List out of all the reasons it wasn't meant to be. This may include reasons like incompatibility, especially when you imagine yourself spending the rest of your life with this person. Most lovers need to keep in contact by having meals together despite they have to travel for more than an hour to meet; sending SMS and using MSN at home and office despite works are left undone; talking on phones at late night despite they have to wake up early next morning, etc. These practices consumes a lot of time hence reduce the efficiency and effectiveness of working, the quantity and quality of sleep, and physic and psychology of mind. Living in a city, a large sum of money has to be put in making the love relationship more romantic, memorable and enjoyable. They would go to an expensive hotel for dinner, go to cinema, or go to Disneyland or Ocean Park where children fantasy are found. All these expenditure put on more weights in handling a relationship.

Alter your viewpoint

Second, change the mind of ‘perfect lover’ and accept that this person is not perfect, and more importantly not perfect for you. Find out their faults and believe what are in your eyes, are facts, and wake up from your dream. It’s time to face the reality. This could be hard since when people are facing their emotional problems, there is a tendency to escape rather than to tackle it, and more is that when it comes to the memories of the lover, our brain stores only the sweet times during the time, but automatically forget the pain and suffer in the past. So remember the times when you felt hurt, neglected, or even betrayed, in order to make a decision with determination.

Distance yourself

Another way to get rid of them is to separate or isolate you from them. Don't call them, don't go to places where you know they frequent, and make yourself scarce. If you must have some contacts like work with them, shorten the messages and delay your reply, to show that they are not prior to your life. Same thing could be done when receiving phone calls from them. Being distanced, they may try to persuade to see them. Make an excuse saying that you are currently busy and not available. There may be some time that you want to contact them, but keep in mind your aim is to fall out of love. Make your schedule filled up, either by learning new skills or volunteering for the needed. By occupying all the time and mind, there would be less time to think of them hence even forget them.

If you lived together, having a house redecoration would be good. During the time of cohabitation, you memorized the position of the furniture. By moving furniture around can make you a new environment, hence dilute the memories with them. If it's possible and necessary, you might even consider moving. Other methods like changing your phone number, going on a trip for a month, are also useful too.

Inform them

Sending SMS to inform that person is now more and more commonly adopted method, a European report says, since the advantage is to prevent the odd scenery and embarrassment of each other. Simple wordings can easily express what they want. Yet many people still meet and have a formal talk, since fall out of love is a serious thing to certain extent.

Before having the talk with that person, make sure to have a plan, it is not an impromptu talk. First choose a public area, avoiding meeting them alone. There is reported news which after meeting alone, the other party assaulted and even killed another and commit suicide afterwards. Also, bear in mind not to tell all wrong things of them, as the talk is not to hurt their feeling. Make sure both of you just want to be friends and remember do not build intense. Communicate by choosing the words carefully until a final decision is reached. Besides, prepare for all possible response- they may be in anger, at laughter, at shock, or even pretending cool. When they are angry, calm down; when they are sad, comfort and pause; when they are embarrassed, state more reasons and ease their mind.

At last, please keep in mind that to love is our nature, but to fall out of love, is a skillful technique. The best ending is to minimize the pain, sadness and the harm of both parties. By communication, both sides can know more about each other, and the most importantly, to remain the friendship, but not to destroy it.

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